by Derek Shipman
story of our star and hero, Josh Arndt, is quite the complicated
one. Much like his alter-ego, Shinto Joe Bob, Josh was raised among
a group of monks. Oh, did I say monks? I meant monkeys. Yes,
you see, Josh was born into a very rich and extravagant family.
His mother and father were great adventurers. After Josh, or Joshua
Warren Blithe III as he prefers to be called, was born, his parents
thought it a quaint idea to take him on a safari through the African
jungle. While riding their elephants through the thickets, Josh's
mother turned away from Josh to reapply her Clinique eye liner.
In those few moments of neglect, Josh tumbled from the elephant
into a lush jungle maze and was abducted by a small band of primates.
know, now that I think about it. . . that was the story of someone
else. Let's see. . . Josh, oh yes. . . Josh was born in . . . well,
no matter. Josh, as you know, portrays the hero of our cinematic
masterpiece. "Shinto" is very much like Josh. For instance,
Josh constantly wears that hat around. We have tried to tell him
that the movie is over, but he continues to wear that hat. Anyway,
Josh is a very accomplished actor who possesses much skill in the
art of, well, art. Yes, he is a skilled artist; but back to the